The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

JOKE OF THE DAY .....05/20/09
07:41 May 21 2009
Times Read: 648




After the annual office Christmas party blow-out, John woke up with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom he was able to make his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. "Louise," he moaned, "tell me what went on last night. Was it as bad as I think?"



"Even worse," she assured him in her most scornful one. "You made a complete ass of yourself, succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and insulted the chairman of the company to his face."



"He's an arrogant, self-important prick, piss on him!"



"You did. All over his suit, " Louise informed him. "And he fired you."



"Well, fuck him," said John.



"I did. You're back at work on Monday."

JOKE OF THE DAY .....05/19/09
10:49 May 19 2009
Times Read: 654

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates." About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. "You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Julie said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner." Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom"

Feelings
10:24 May 02 2009
Times Read: 672

Feelings .....where do they come from?....your heart ....your brain ....is it an instinct.....when i think of the words feeling i think of the heart ...some say that some of us have no feelings but the people that think we dont realli dont have feelings at all .......they just like to hurt other peoples feelings ....so ...when you cry ...so you feel sad? ....mad?...fustrated? ....



the feelings that humans feel are just confusing ...i realli dont get it ....yes i have feelings but one of my friends was crying today and i comforted him and i was thinking " human males and human females have very different feelings and thoughts" but after he cried i asked him what he was crying about he just told me not to menton it to anyone and it was nuthing usually when human females ask you about when there crying they'll tell you the whole story and then some ....and then they will cry all over again from the memory....i dont get it ....like today i was feeling sad but i didnt say anything to anyone ...do you think that if you hold your feelings inside what would happen?...would you one day final burst and cry? would you just let it build and build? or would you just do nuthing ignore all the feelings and if you were to do that what would change within you?